Confused and It’s Okay

“THE PURSUER OF DREAMS” – There are days when I feel super confident, like I know exactly what I’m doing, have a clear vision of what I want, need to do and when. And then, there are days that I feel the exact opposite – feeling really lost, confused, hopeless, and everything in between.

I haven’t shared anything vulnerable in quite a long time, because to be honest, I didn’t want to seem weak. As a “pursuer of dreams”, I want to come up with an image of a go-getter! That hustle-hustle-girl-boss living the life she always imagined.

Well, I have a job with decent pay that is aligned with my purpose – something I’m thankful for. But what’s next? What’s the next move and how can I step up?

Let me paint the picture for you: I am at my desk for 8 hours a day, 5x a week. I go home, listen to audiobooks, go for a walk/run, do my daily meditation, read article after article online, hoping something will enlighten me – hoping something will spark in my head and I will know exactly what to do.

I KNOW WHAT I WANT but I can’t seem to figure how to get it.

I remember going back home after work. I was with my friend for dinner. We chatted for hours and talked about life. I openly discussed to him my situation. His serious eyes looked at me as he listened intently to every word I say. He was wholly and fully present.

After all the rants, he finally spoke.

“Then just do the thing that will lead you to that thing that you really want!”

He said it with clarity. It was plain and simple. That was exactly what I needed to know. Where was I all this time?

The reality is that, I was scared. I was scared to make that move… but also scared not to. I was scared to get out from my comfort zone, but deep down I couldn’t wait to get out. I was scared of the unknown…

I was afraid to make a change, so I tricked myself into thinking that it was too complicated and confusing.

I don’t know why I’m sharing this, other than to let you know that we are all human. We really don’t have this all figured out. It’s so easy to think that everyone around us knows exactly what they’re doing, that they’re killing it at life, and that you’re the only one sitting there with your head in your hands, with no idea what’s going on.

Every single human being feels confused and lost as well, over and over again throughout life. Nobody is exempt from these feelings. It’s all a part of the human journey.

If you don’t know what you want to do with your life, it’s okay! The answer doesn’t come to you at a specific time. Some go through ten different jobs before finding one that is right for them. It doesn’t matter if you’re 21, 41 or anywhere in between.

Let me say this: Don’t worry about the confusion you are feeling. Don’t worry about feeling lost and having no idea what to do in life. None of us knows what the future holds. And no matter how much you plan for the future, your future will likely turn out to be very different from what you expect.

There’s nothing wrong with planning for the future, but in the end, we can’t control it. So I suggest that you just embrace the unknown, go with the flow, and let life unfolds itself.

Leave the details to the Universe and simply focus on what EXCITES you the most and on what you are capable of doing right now. This allows you to feel joy now instead of making your joy dependent on a certain outcome in the future.

 

You are meant to be here. As you focus on what excites you at this moment, the clouds of confusion begin to part and you can see your direction more clearly. Then moving towards it, with inner confidence, it becomes natural.

It’s okay to feel vulnerable in the process, but don’t let the confusion holds you back. Once you take the first step, everything else will unfold for you.

In the end, you only get one chance at life. You can wait around for the future or you can start taking small steps to do that right now and let the future take care of itself. The choice is yours.

 

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Mabuhay!

Khim here. 20ish wood fairy and part-time mermaid. I’m writing just for fun but aiming to inspire countless beautiful souls.

I am lover of life and a dreamer. I dream and I make it happen.x

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