Apparently, I Gave Up…

We live in a world today wherein our dreams equaled financial success. The younger you got your first car, the better! The younger you acquired your first property, the better! It was all over social platforms, encouraging (us) the youth to follow the hustle culture. It was all about the bling.

I envy those kids who had an easy childhood, had the chance of getting into college to pursue degrees they want, and would merit millionaire status⁠ after just a few years of working  — sometimes, their parents already lay out that path for them. Mapapa-sana all ka lang talaga!

I wish I had the same opportunities presented to them. I wish I had a solid support system and money so I don’t have to think twice about my life choices. I wished I never had to do trial and error in making decisions, especially in my career.

Years of being alone and the struggle of showing up every day had me that feeling na “nakaka-pagod na din pala.” I kept chasing the dream. I felt I wasted almost the entire decade on a dream that was not for me. I could have gone a long way by now (financially) if I hadn’t been persistent with this dream. I felt left behind.

Apparently, I gave up. All this time I thought I wanted to be “successful”, but I learned that I just wanted to be happy.

I thought I got it all figured out. I thought that once I’m in Dubai, like magic, everything will fall into place – that maybe if I am just determined and focused on my goals, I will soon get my chance inside the airline industry. But fast forward today, I’m still here… and I’m tired.

If I’m being honest with you, the only reason I kept working on it is that I already invested so much time, effort, and emotions (and OF COURSE money!) in this. I can’t give up now.

You know that one item in your Amazon shopping cart that you just couldn’t resist checking out, and you had no idea why you were so drawn to it in the first place? You told yourself to just sleep it off and eventually, you will forget about it but turned out you still purchased it the next day. It’s like that: an invisible force pushing me to just keep going.

But is it worth it?

To be honest, I really don’t know anymore. In life, you always have those tricky and pivotal decisions to make ⁠ —that creates a ripple effect. If I stay here and just hope everything will eventually work out, will that change the fact that I already lost quite an amount of time and energy that I could’ve utilized instead on other pursuits that could get me way ahead in life by now? The truth is our decisions are manipulated by our investments. The more we invest, the harder it will be to abandon something.

Just like in relationships, even if we know it’s over, still we find it so hard to let go. Even when we know what we want — and what we deserve — we still can’t detach from the past and to those beautiful memories we shared with them: The nights on the couch cuddling each other, the road trips you planned together, the tough times you had each other, the places you’ve been, the food you shared, the restaurants you loved, the music you listened together… and the list goes on.

It’s a lot to lose and a lot to let go. 

I’m already in my 30s and I’m not getting any younger. I don’t want to spend the next decade of my life solely on a 9-5 job with a fixed income and working for someone else’s dream. No! Not anymore. If becoming “successful” meant sacrificing the time I have for the people and the things I love, then I don’t want to be that… at all.

If I learned anything from working abroad, it’s that life is way too short not to do what makes you happy. If you have the means to make your life a bit lighter on yourself, I say go for it.

I wanted to become a flight attendant, wore the sexiest uniform, be looked upon by many people with such admiration, and travel the world. But now, all I want to do is disappear into a quiet, small town, living in a home I built for myself, surrounded by nature and with the people I love and care the most.



By reading this, I really hope that you think over what you really want to get out of life. Of course, this is my story… what may work for me might not work for you. We have different values and preferences. We were offered different opportunities in life. Some of us enjoy the corporate ladder where we get to carve our own image as respectable professionals. And there are some of us, who just like me, prioritize peace of mind (and looking for a rich husband lol)

Please please please don’t ever take the easy way out just because it’s what society expected from you. Don’t be afraid to step back and reassess your situation. If you think you can’t recognize yourself anymore in this path, and it is costing you your peace, relationships, and maybe your health, you can always turn back. Know what really matters to you. At the end of the day, it is your life. You only have yourself accountable for the choices you make!

I hope this piece of advice may be useful for everyone.


Til next time!



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