You Have It In You

Self 1: It’s been more than a year, aren’t you gonna write?

Self 2: Fuck off. There’s nothing inspiring for me to write.

Self 1: How about your readers?

Self 2: May readers ba ako??

Self 1: Maybe?

Self 2: Inangyan sana man lang nag-yes ka!

Self 1: I’m sure there are people who can relate to you. And whatever you’re experiencing right now, they’re experiencing it too. And they need to know they’re not alone.

Self 2: Ang sakit na kasi, bes! Ano naman sasabihin ko?

Self 1: Stop with the stupid story you keep telling yourself as to why you can’t make it! I know you’re struggling right now but it will be over soon. You just need to hang in there!

Self 2: Nakakapagod na din kasi…

Self 1: How badly do you want this?

Self 2: I really don’t know anymore… I think I’m wasting too much time and effort. Maybe I should just give up.

Self 1: Just freaking answer the question! How badly and WHY you want this?

Self 2: I WANT THIS COZ THERE’S NOTHING ELSE I WANT! Yung tipong pinilit mo nalang mag-move on pero babalik at babalik ka padin sa kanya… Kasi sya lang yung mahal mo. Wala ng iba pa. And until wala sya sa piling mo, you’ll just be wandering aimlessly…  no direction… no purpose. 

Self 1:  Did you consistently do things to get you closer to your dreams?

Self 2: Complicated eh.

Self 1: Huh? So you want to go forward with your dreams but you’re lost?

Self 2: Ayooooko na nga kasi kumilos. Pagod na ako masaktan. Ang sakit sakit na, bes! Wala naaaa akong pag-asa. I don’t think I can do it. I don’t have what it takes…

Self 1: Dami mong satsat. Dami mong arte. Dami mong ganap na kadramahan sa buhay. So what is it that you want? ANONG GUSTO MO MANYARE???

Self 2: Wow nag-tagalog sya? 

Self 1: LECHE! Kung kinakailangan magtagalog, edi Magta-TAGALOG ako para isaksak sa kukote mo na YOU’RE BEING A PAIN IN THE ASS! Stop whining, bitch! Get back on track!

Self 2: Grabe naman. Harsh!

Self 1: What is it that you really want?

Self 2: Well, I just want to be a flight attendant… But I don’t have the means.

Self 1: What “means”?

Self 2: Syempre dapat maganda ako… So dapat may pera ako para gumanda ako! Bakit pa ako mag-aapply, e hanap nila pang-beauty queen. Hindi din ako papasa. 

Self 1: You handicap yourselves into all sorts of excuses and ideas. You tell yourself that you’re not worthy. BUT YOU HAVE IT IN YOU!  I don’t know why you just procrastinate instead of working hard in pursuing your goals.

Self 2: WOW ha!

Self 1: Of course I understand. All of this because you are afraid to fail – to fail again. You know what, do me a favor! STOP WITH THE THINKING AND JUST START DOING. By simply taking action, I am sure it will change everything! We’ll never know what we’re capable of until we try – and try and try again!

Self 2: *silence*

Self 1: WELL I DON’T CARE HOW YOU’LL DO IT! For as long as you’re moving towards your dreams, that’s fucking all! And you know how fulfilling it is. You’ve been there before! Happiness comes from moving toward what you want. You need to take steps—perhaps not every day, but regularly—toward what you desire to achieve. Success doesn’t happen overnight. It is a journey. Between where you are now and where your success is, you will face a lot of challenges and hardships. It is all part of the journey.

It is perfectly okay to cry. It is okay to commit mistakes. We are all human. We breakdown and get confused. We stumble and fall many times but what matters most is that we get up, we refocus and we move forward.

Use this pain to your advantage! The fact that you’re in pain means you haven’t lost the fire. It means you’re still alive! This is not the end of your story! Use your pain with FAITH. Make it your fuel to reach your dreams.

Self 2: Taray ah! Pak ganern!